


Dare You To

by goldveines



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: I'll add tags if necessary later, M/M, Raven!Neil, Slow Burn, but don't come crying to me about it lmao I have no excuse, fyi: Andrew is a little softer than normal and that's somewhat explained later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:11:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldveines/pseuds/goldveines
Summary: Nathaniel's place is at Riko's side, the hidden and elusive number three to Riko's perfect court. His identity is kept secret due to his father's history, but the three on his cheek tells the truth: some things can't be hidden - such as Nathaniel's inclination to his father's personality. Nathaniel isn't interested in being loyal to Riko, he's interested in playing Exy; and his methods aren't always to Riko or his partner, Jean's, benefit. He'll push both his own limits and those around him to play.!!HIATUS UNTIL JULY!! Send any comments/questions about this to@goldveines.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this starts off as Nathaniel is 17 and Andrew is 18, both newly. Think early 2005. Dates will be mentioned occasionally to help you keep track, but for the most part that's all you need to know!

There's not much to do in the suburbs, which is to say that there's not much reason for four strangers to be stopping in. Riko navigates them through the winding backstreets with ease, occasionally squinting to check a street name. Nathaniel guesses that he spent the plane ride figuring out directions else wise he'd be reverting to the GPS that's attached to the dashboard, but it remains there with its screen black.

They pull into the parking lot of the high school without considerable trouble despite the growing traffic. The only sign that it's a game night is the fact that they have to park in the back rather than take their pick. People, kids and adults alike, are dressed in the school's colors, blue and white. Some even wear face paint, stripes and numbers of players donning their cheeks. Nathaniel's always a little off put when he sees support for another team so close to his own person. He thinks that maybe Jean is too because he steps a little closer to Nathaniel while Kevin grabs the stack of papers bound by a binder clip and Riko waits for him.

Riko doesn't have to say anything like, "Ready," or, "Let's go,' for the other three to follow after, he just walks and they feel it like a pull. There's a beep behind them as the car locks.

The court has a fence around it with a break where the ticket booth sits. The path to the ticket booth is crowded with friends and families trying to gain entrance. There's a large sign along the path that says, "Students = $3, Others = $5," but regardless, the lady running the booth reminds the unfamiliar figures.

Nathaniel wonders briefly if she recognizes their group. He thinks not because Riko pays without fanfare and she allows them through the gates. It's not uncommon that they go without recognition because, despite their own passions for it, exy is not a largely loved sport. The lady likely is a parent volunteer and doesn't know anything real about exy. He doesn't understand people like that. How can they be feet from something so amazing, because even a high school's court is something to be in awe of, and know so little about it.

But the moment's long behind them. Riko's let Kevin choose where they sit since it's him they're here for. Kevin chooses a spot in the front by the home goal. The stands around them are filling up quickly, and more people eye the strangers in the front. Again he wonders if this is because they're strangers or because they're recognized. The setting makes it hard to tell.

They sit in their bubble, all of them, he thinks, soaking up the feeling of the crowd around them. There's a scoreboard around the court and it has a clock counting down to the deal, reading little under an hour. Teams will be out for warm ups soon. To pass the time they raise their heads high, their numbers bestowed on their cheeks with an unspoken pride. It labels them in more than one way and Nathaniel sits in the bleachers surrounded by a crowd that's slowly understanding in the haze of pre-game. It feels good to be number three.

There isn't any big proclamation before they come out for warm-ups. The pep bend, a set of bleachers over, gets a late start to the school's fight song when they see their team making their warm-up laps. The visiting team isn't here yet, but home team still keeps to their schedule. Nathaniel, as well as the other three, take a moment looking for him. The bulk of court armor makes it harder to spot his normally easily identifiable form. Andrew Minyard stands at five feet tall, and Kevin Day wants him for the Ravens. Kevin thinks that he should be number five.

It's quite the hefty would-be title to hand over to someone, regardless of their capability. Riko decides the standings and Tetsuji assures them. Andrew is someone they're currently allowing to take up Kevin's time. It's always possible that it pans out, but it's not possible he becomes number five without Riko's saying. Thus why all four of them came tonight. Kevin doesn't go anywhere alone, and Riko most certainly wouldn't do something like this without making a show - though him and Kevin would have been show enough.

Nathaniel has been brought on excursions like these a few times before because he likes to rattle cages. He likes small sightings of his growing perfect court, the mysterious number three fitting in seamlessly with the others, the sons of exy at it again, a silent and steady Jean Moreau to balance them all. It's Riko's way of saying to the world, "I am taking what I care for and leaving the rest." He has four for his court and he's seeking out the fifth, a fifth that can not be found even at Edgar Allan.

Kevin's rattling off statistics in Riko's ear while the team does stretches. He points to random things, possibly people, on the court to make example of. Nathaniel's listening briefly, but mostly watching Minyard on the court. He's wearing the number three jersey. He'll have to change his number if he becomes a Raven.

He stops short when he hears Kevin make mention of Andrew's current state, in all matters.

"He started in a juvenile facility, of all things. Then, not long after getting released, attacked a group of people and was placed on medication. All of this and still the tapes don't lie. His stats seem to vary - a lot - but it's undeniable what I've seen on tape." He sounds in awe.

The Raven Line had its bout of relative psychosis, but nearly all of it was brought on by the Raven environment itself. Kevin mostly talked about his ability as a player, but that doesn't mean that it's all there is to Andrew. Kevin tends to be more inclined to exy than Nathaniel is. He'd like to know exactly how crazy Minyard is before they offer a spot on their line up to him.

Admittedly he might have asked before they set off on this trip, or even during. Neither had been cause for him to ask, however, because he didn't consider that Kevin would want to subject the team - Riko? - to someone like that. Although, Nathaniel thinks, it might be interesting to see. He'd like to see how Minyard fares in Riko's presence later on tonight.

The opposing team shows up then, leaving his thoughts where they were. The other team's from a few towns over and they pile off the bus with hustle. They're late and trying to get on the court as quick as they can. Their warm up laps are faster than home team's had been and they're stretching out when the home team finishes. The ref comes onto the court and signals the captains. Away team wins the coin toss and shuffles off the court. Home team has the court second. There'll be fifteen minute turns with the court before they're both off and the game can begin. Final adjustments and line ups can be made before the fanfare begins. Both teams run simple drills that look similar and easy enough, nothing too complicated to break confidence before the game starts. 

The overhead announcer calls over the speakers, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remove your caps and stand for the national anthem." There's a loud shuffling as the crowd complies, Nathaniel takes off his baseball cap and Riko does the same. (Kevin doesn't wear hats often and Jean finds them offensive to his style, whatever it may be.) They play a version of the anthem that strains over the speakers. It makes him cringe, not for the anthem, but for a high school's poor quality. 

There's another loud shuffle as people sit back down. The announcer doesn't waste his time waiting and starts to announce the teams. They announce the visitors and their starting players first. They shuffle onto the court with confidence, despite their slightly off start to the night. Then the home team is announced. Nathaniel doesn't catch most of the names, but he does hear Andrew's. So he's starting. From the information Kevin had given, he plays most of the first half and a little of the second. It's quite the endurance to have for any player on the court, let alone a highschooler. Maybe another factor in why Kevin wants him. But endurance can't be the only factor. To be sure, his stats are good, but they mean nothing until Nathaniel can see it in action. Numbers are good in theory, but what can really be brought to the court is what matters. 

It's ten minutes in and Andrew looks beyond bored in his goal. His racquet is slung across his shoulders, not even prepared for the chance that the ball make it to his net. He doesn't bother watching the game half of the time. It's nothing to him. Any attempt on the goal is watched with the barest hint of interest as it scantly misses the goal. It's an 0 and 0 game right now. Nathaniel is almost angry sitting here watching this display. He looks over to Kevin, who looks maybe equally mad. Riko is almost amused, and Jean gives away nothing. 

"Is he going to hand them the game?" Nathaniel lets a little of his anger seep into his voice. 

Kevin doesn't answer, but Riko does, with a laugh tailing it, "From the looks of it he doesn't have to do a thing. So confident in their poor skills and his own team's ability to guard him well enough. It's quite funny to watch them get frustrated with it." And yes, maybe he could see that. But most of him was distraught. If Andrew wanted to make the other team angry, he could just as easily slap the ball back toward them on the other side of the court. He's content to sit here and not play. Exy isn't even a concern to him tonight, and he wants it to show. Hadn't his coach told him that Riko and his lot would be coming to the game? Wouldn't he want to put on a show? Maybe something to attribute to the mentality that Kevin had described earlier; years of juvie, recent medication, and likely psychosis.

He could, in any other circumstance than on the court, deal with this perhaps. He had grown up around his father's people, and then the Moriyama's. But this blatant disregard baffled him and he couldn't understand it. He watched the game continue. He watched Andrew get subbed out while there still wasn't a score made yet. He watched his replacement shoot the balls down the court as Nathaniel had thought earlier. A puzzle. He wonders still, though, how interesting to see Andrew interact with Riko.

At the half, the crowd briefly disperses to refill their drinks and snacks. Some even leave, content with the game and wanting to miss the traffic. The pep band is busy playing away. There's a few announcements about the team or upcoming events. Nathaniel ignores them in favor of watching the home team at the bench. Andrew is sitting, unlike a group that seems to be the starting players for the upcoming play. So they would likely finish the game with Andrew in the net. 

There's a buzzer signalling one minute to game time and the band stops playing. People make their last minute shuffle back to the stands while the players return to the court. 

They had left the court with a two point advantage, and quickly lose it when they start the play. They're soon lagging by three. A not insignificant gap. Home team is fighting mercilessly, but still the away team is taking from them. The coach lets them struggle a while to maintain or regain before subbing Andrew in. Nathaniel thinks it's a poor decision considering his earlier performance. The coach clearly thinks not. 

Andrew sidles up to the goal, this time resting his body weight on his racquet like a cane. At least it's an easier move than from above his shoulders. The game continues on and the teams fight back and forth for the ball. It takes a minute but the home team manages a point. They're only lagging by two. The visiting team doesn't take kindly to the point, regardless of their lead, and attacks with a vengeance. The backliners stop them twice before they breach their hold and into the goal. They shoot and Andrew moves. For the first time all night, he moves in one powerful swing. Nathaniel had, regardless of whether Minyard moved or not, thought that that was a sure point. It was in a deep corner of the net, away from where Andrew had faced. And yet somehow his racquet was there and swatting it halfway down the court, leaving the away team's strikers to chase after it with fury. 

_'Oh,'_ he thinks. 

So when Kevin had said his performance was occasionally spotty he referred to this. Speaking of, he looks over to Kevin. He seems now to not share a trace of his earlier anger. A moment like that had been worth the trip, it seems. Not that Minyard had managed to do his job, but that he had managed to deflect a near impossible shot. It was good alright. Not enough to defend the title of number five, but enough to consider a spot on the Raven's line-up. 

Andrew's position in the goal and seemingly renewed interest in the game doesn't allow another point from the opposing team. They still lose, a result of them not closing the point gap. They end the game one point in their own deficit. It's not the end though, they still have other games before they're out for good. It's maybe half way through the season, so it's nothing brutal yet. 

The four of them wait in the bleachers for the crowd to clear out. Minyard's coach, Jackson, said to wait a bit until the team had a chance to shower, then to come down to the benches. He said he'd have Andrew there. 

They wait a little over a half hour before they see the coach waving with a blond head at his side. It's their cue and they make their way down the bleachers. 

In person, even despite Nathaniel's own challenge, Andrew is short. The three inches between them is a mile, and even farther between Minyard and Kevin. It only grows as they approach. Coach Jackson is smiling, but the same can't be said of Minyard. He's barely looking at them. There's a duffel bag at his feet and he's kicking at it. Why, he doesn't know. 

"Hello," Jackson says when they're close enough. He extends a hand, which Riko and Kevin shake. Jean and Nathaniel stand a little behind. They're here, but they aren't like Riko and Kevin. They won't be shaking the coach's hand. He notices and his smile turns a little confused before continuing, "Erm, I'm Coach Jackson. This is Andrew." As if hearing his name is all it takes, a smile spreads across his face and he's paying attention now. 

"Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day, coming to see me. What an honor," his voice drips sarcasm and Nathaniel remembers why he had thought it would be interesting to see him with Riko earlier. Kevin holds out a hand, because this is his deal, and Andrew stares at it, that same smile spread wide across his face. He doesn't move to take it so Kevin drops it. 

"It was quite the performance you put on in the end there," Kevin says it as if Andrew isn't openly mocking him at every chance. "You nearly saved your team. Though a good goalie can only go so far in moments like those." Nathaniel always thinks Kevin's public face is so - decent. 

"It would seem so," Andrew sounds delighted. Manic. "Does he always talk this much," he points it backwards; at which of them, Jean or Nathaniel, he doesn't know. It doesn't matter though because Jean would never answer. Nathaniel decides to because Andrew had proved to pull his impression every which way tonight and that is interesting enough. He knows he shouldn't respond, but still that merits one. 

"He's feeling personable. He's trying to impress," Nathaniel says with a smile, glad, though, that someone else thinks Kevin's public face is odd. Riko and Kevin create a small gap to allow this conversation. He assumes he'll be reprimanded later. 

"To impress," he laughs, "And why would he want to do that?" 

Coach Jackson sighs at his side. "Can't you be nice just once, Andrew? They're offering you a future--" Andrew shoos him away with his hands. 

"Go lock up, I'll figure it out myself, Coach." There's a look of concern on his face and he holds Andrew's stare for a moment before complying, apparently content to allow Andrew to navigate it himself. 

"Where were we?" Andrew asks pleasantly.

"Complaining about Kevin," Nathaniel offers. 

"Oh, of course. Yes, why does the infamous trio - quartet - want me?" He pulls his hands up in the air to make wooing motions around his face. Nathaniel thinks he understands this kind of person. He thinks he's been this person - is this person? _Occasionally_ is that person, when his father's smile finds its way to his face. However, Andrew doesn't give off the same blood curdling feeling that his father does. Andrew carries a familiar feeling, like things finding each other and saying, _'Oh.'_

"I'll assume you aren't dense and say that you know we've come to recruit you," Riko says. He apparently doesn't care to be as nice as Kevin with this lack of respect. Maybe even more agitated that he had talked to Nathaniel - or that Nathaniel had replied and even played along. 

"Unfortunately, you've waste a trip. I don't want to be recruited." 

Kevin picks back up where he left off, "But you could have a place here among us. Eventually even number five." He motions his arm in a circle around them. Riko continues it, any opportunity to brag about his perfect and hand chosen court. 

"If you know who we are then you know about my court. Nathaniel may not be entirely known about, but he still exists as a part of it. When he graduates he will have a place on the court beside us - just as you could." He's practically saying, _"Look - Look at all my pretty things."_

"You actually bought this," He directs it at Nathaniel. A redundant question of course considering the searing number three on his cheek. He shrugs his shoulder noncommittally. He had wanted to play and, well, stay alive. Of course he bought it. 

"He is finishing his junior year, and we've already set his future in stone. The public doesn't even know who he is, and his future is set. Yours could be the same," Riko sells. He's noticed Andrew's fixation on anything but him and Kevin. 

"Carting around a minor?" Minyard's voice is unpleasant, despite that persistent smile. 

Kevin ignores it, "He was emancipated when he turned 16 and turned seventeen a few months ago, eighteen in less than a year; he’s on the edge of being an adult regardless of your view. And when he is, he’ll have a place in the Raven’s line up - a backliner.” Some of it's true. He will be eighteen in less than a year. But he is not emancipated and it is not his place to be here, not really. He's here because Riko allows it. And likely not again after this show. 

Riko again takes the opportunity to solidify Kevin's claims, “You could too; two feral things guarding the most precious spot on the court: a final defense behind us,” he puts a guarding arm around Kevin. He paints a pretty picture but Andrew doesn’t buy it, nor is he impressed. But he feigns it.

"He thinks we're feral," Andrew says to Nathaniel with eyebrows high on his face.

"He recognizes like things," Nathaniel suggests. He likes this a little, he likes this side of himself. He'll pay for it later, but it's interesting for now. 

"What's the saying? 'Opposites attract?'" Andrew picks the strap of his bag from the ground and says, "I think that one feral thing is enough to handle." He turns his back and walks. Just like that. 

Kevin calls after, a desperate attempt, "At least let us leave a number. In case you change your mind." He wants Andrew on his team. He's making a fool of himself over this goalkeeper. 

Andrew does stop though, he had only made it a foot or two from them. Riko scribbles a number on a corner of paper he snatches from Kevin. Andrew snaps it from Riko's hands and shoves it deep into his pocket. When he pulls it out he brings two fingers to his temple in salute, "Until next time."

He walks away without a backward glance. 

The parking lot is empty by now. Their car is nearly the only one left, so they don't have to try and remember where they parked. They walk to it in silence, Nathaniel with a smile and Riko and Kevin with equal scowls. When they're close enough Riko unlocks the car with a beep. 

He had prepared himself for the reprimand, but hadn't expected Riko to hit him here. Riko punches him and his body falls against the car. He can't stop smiling though. Riko hits him again. This time he feels a trickle of blood run down his upper lip, likely from his nose. Another hit. He coughs and it turns into a laugh. Another hit. His eye is already swelling. Another hit. A crunch sounds and he thinks his nose might be broken. Another hit. His eyes are surely swelling now. He's not sure where Kevin and Jean stand, but he hasn't heard any doors open, so they're still watching. Another hit. Not to his face, to his stomach. He keels over and Riko's hand shoves him up anyways. He does it again and keeps him supported on the car. 

"Wipe that smile off your face, you piece of shit," Riko grounds out and punctuates it with a swing at his face again. "You embarrassed me and you think you get to smile?" Riko's knuckles are hard against the hollow of his eye. Still he's smiling. And then there are Riko's hands at his throat. He tightens his grip and listens to the choking sounds that come from Nathaniel. 

"Fucking apologize." He sounds like a ten year-old, which does not help the state of his smile. He hates his father hates his father hates his father. Riko digs his hands in deeper. Nathaniel's eyes are screwed shut, but he can feel Riko's breath as his face comes closer. "Apologize, maggot," he growls into Nathaniel's ear. 

He's going to black out. He's going to black out and he doesn't want to think about what Riko will do then, so he manages, "Sorry," with his remaining breath. He thinks he might still be smiling, but at least Riko's hands leave his throat. He curls over in relief. The coughs are closer to dry heaves and his head is delirious with the new oxygen. 

Riko pulls him up and grits his teeth, "Don't speak." He pushes Nathaniel into the car one final time before backing off. He walks to his own side of the car. He hears the car doors opening, one by one by one. It takes the wind out of him to stand and get into his seat. He buckles up by feel rather than sight. There's blood dripping into the back of his throat and he swallows it thickly. 

There's nothing in the car to help his face. He could wipe some of the blood away with the useless contracts meant for Minyard, but he doubt Kevin would give them to him. So he sits. He feels the blood trickling. It's as if there's a separate pulse in the whole of his face. He leans his head back in the seat to try and staunch the running path of blood and it only causes it to pool in the back of his throat. Oh well. He sits like that the remainder of the trip to the airport. 

Nathaniel silently leaves the car with Jean while Riko and Kevin go to return it. They go to the bathroom before anything else to finally take care of Nathaniel. He can't see very well through the swelling and red haze, but he imagines that he gets a few stares for his state. The bathroom is empty though, saving them the trouble of awkwardness. A likely story was that he had been part in a bad departure, a friend or family member so angry with him for leaving that fists were exchanged. Still, too much work for the moment. 

Jean's hands were nimble and deft with a wet paper towel. He dabs and wipes where he needs to. It's painful, but he manages little more than a tensing of the muscles in his face. It takes only five minutes for Jean to do what he deems necessary. And when he's satisfied he says, "Will you ever learn to shut up?" It's clipped, like it always is because of his native french accent. 

"I'm thinking it's less about shutting up and more about being number two." It's true. Nathaniel could be ideal, like Jean, and he would still get the ass end of things, like Jean. Nathaniel's predilection for this attitude happened to save Jean on occasion because Riko was more focused on him. Kevin was never treated how they were. Never. 

"Well try and think about being number three, yeah?" Jean turns his back to Nathaniel and throws the paper towel's away. With the blood cleared away, he has one relatively good eye and another that's swollen shut. 

"I'll think about it alright," he jokes. The smile tugs at the semi-clotted split lip. Jean sighs and exits the bathroom, expecting Nathaniel to follow. 

Riko and Kevin are waiting in seats for their flight to be called. Jean and Nathaniel see them and sit on the other side of Kevin, numerical order. Nathaniel sits in silence because, no matter his tastes, he's not dumb. Riko had told him not to speak, so he sits here without his words. Until his pocket vibrates - his phone. 

He pulls it out to see a text from a strange number. 

_+18647439567; 10:56pm  
I'm not interested in being a Raven._

So Riko had given Andrew Nathaniel's number. Stranger considering he was mad for Nathaniel's involvement in the first place. He knows better than to speak, even for this, so he shows the text to Jean.

"Minyard says he still won't be recruited," Jean announces to the group for him. 

Riko clearly knows it was Nathaniel he texted, so he looks to him when he speaks, "Convince him otherwise." So this is why he had chosen Nathaniel. Andrew had actually spoken to Nathaniel. Despite the repercussions for that, it was also to Riko's benefit. 

_Nathaniel; 10:58pm  
Riko wants me to change your mind._

There's no immediate reply, so he shoves his phone back into his pocket. Another fifteen minutes and their flight is called over the speakers. They didn't abide by the "one hour early" rule for their flight because they would have only been here for so long anyways. As they're going through security he feels a buzz in his pocket from Andrew's reply, but he doesn't check it because he doesn't want to seem even more dodgy than his face makes him look. Checking his phone, though not what's really happening, would seem like an all too obvious attempt to avert attention. 

He doesn't look until Jean and him share an aisle behind Riko and Kevin. 

_+18647439567; 11:19pm  
Do you think I should change my mind?_

He flicks his eyes over to see if Jean is watching. Jean already has his head back and his eyes shut. He plans to sleep on the flight, as NaNathaniel probably should soon as he's done talking with Andrew. 

_Nathaniel; 11:43pm  
I think you should stay as far away as you can fucking get._

He may be stupid, but he's not without his wit. No matter the circumstance, no one should have to be in the nest. Nathaniel would play exy anywhere if this didn't happen to be his only option. He imagines that Jean would do the same. And Kevin, he isn't quite sure about Kevin. There's always a separation between three and four and one and two. 

_+18647439567; 11:44pm  
Good._

He feels a stinging sense of satisfaction from this. His phone is shut off and placed back in his pocket before the flight attendants can come out for safety procedures. He lays his head back like Jean's and sleeps peacefully, despite the new hurts and grievances to his face. He can still taste hints of blood on his tongue and it stings to move his face too much, but it feels good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think about this! I have this all planned out and I'll be updating twice a month-ish. This will likely be a year-long en devour, or close to it. I'll let you know in the notes how it's looking and update how many chapters there will be towards the end when I know that my outline is accurate. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr: [@quexnk](http://quexnk.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel pays for his tongue back in Columbia. Riko is in the midst of staving off a revolt before it has the chance to start, and Nathaniel pays for this too as a result of him being an easy target. Andrew gets as far away as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed by your responses; I'm so glad you guys like this! I couldn't respond to everyone, but I loved all of your responses! I loved the questions too, so keep them coming if you have them. There are some I may not answer due to spoiling future chapters, but I'd love to answer if I can!
> 
> I also went back and made a few minor edits (curse my sleep-riddled brain for writing and not catching mistakes)! Just grammar and consistency things, so nothing's changed. I'll go back and edit this chapter a little later. 
> 
> This starts off with a mild time jump. Last chapter was February/March ish. This chapter is April ish. It's a little shorter than the first chapter only because if I included the next kind of 'key point' in the story it would have been like 3k more and I wouldn't have been able to post as soon.
> 
>  **Reminder:** This fic is tagged as featuring graphic depictions of violence. Please be safe while reading.

Andrew's rejection hadn't gone over well with either Riko or Kevin. Where Kevin had been disappointed, Riko had been furious. He had thought Nathaniel was at fault for Andrew's refusal; and though he wasn't entirely wrong, he wasn't entirely right. Nathaniel couldn't imagine a reality where Andrew might have said yes to Riko and Kevin's offer, even after only one meeting. It hadn't mattered though, regardless of the truth Riko had made Nathaniel feel the consequences of his actions. Had he convinced Andrew, Riko might have forgiven him for his tongue around Minyard. But he hadn't, so Riko hadn't either. He can still feel the bruises and cuts beneath his court armor, feels it every time he stretches too far or moves against the hulking padding too much - which is to say, that he feels it often. There is one relief to his pains, and it comes in the form of two invitations - two contracts.

Kevin and Riko are to be signed to US Court. It's not a surprise, it's been a guarantee since they were kids. Riko and Kevin were born for court, and now it's happening in real time. Years of the four of them practicing side by side, and now two of them are starting in on the ultimate reality. Nathaniel can taste the freedom that court promises, it tastes bitter sweet on his tongue because it combines with the taste of dried blood. His lip had split from where it had been trying to heal when he grinned. He's not all together conscious of his smile all of the time - his father's smile.

Regardless that this is reminder that he is not invited to court yet, nor is he a Raven, Nathaniel thanks whoever listens that Riko has let up. It's the end of the Raven's season and it's one of the last chances to train at their peak. Of course, at any point in time the Ravens are an admirable team, but it's undeniable that any team is better at the end of a season than they are at the beginning. He wants to practice without the hindrance of wounds just once before it's over.

The Ravens will be taking home a victory soon. It's only a matter of time. April signals the end of the championships and Edgar Allen won't walk away without first place. It's unacceptable to do so. This is one area that acceptance to Court does not lighten Riko's attitude. He's always hungry for the win, and Tetsuji, too, is unrelenting in his guidance. Nathaniel aches everywhere, despite that his schooling often doesn't allow him to attend morning practices. He studies French with his throbbing joints a reminder of where he should truly be.

Junior year is nearly over and soon he'll be taking the ACTs. He's not worried, because somehow Tetsuji would sway Edgar Allen's board of Admissions in his favor if he did badly. It does not, however, mean that he intends to do badly. So, as much as his body may plead for him to join the rest of the team on the court in the mornings, he knows his place. He knows that he has to do well so that there are no problems in his future change of underclassman to freshman.

In sum, Nathaniel is going stir crazy at any moment. It's been too much these past weeks. First, Minyard had surprised him. Minyard had surprised him and Nathaniel had been unable to help himself from reacting. It had been such an obvious pull for him, that not reacting would have grated on him. Second, Nathaniel had told Andrew to stay away, and he had paid for it. Riko could have, at any time, looked to see Andrew and his conversation, but from the way he spoke about it all Nathaniel guessed Riko hadn't - though this is not to say that Riko was not clearly in tune with what had occurred. Riko has a way of bringing to light specifics, which is the only reason Nathaniel believes that Riko hadn't looked into it. Third, Kevin and Riko had gotten Court, a reprieve and a rueful reminder all in one. The Ravens were finishing their season up and Nathaniel would be advancing another year in the Nest's hierarchy. He would be one year closer to court. This is clearly shown by his near completion of his junior year.

Nathaniel's head is swimming in it all. Such a short amount of time, and yet so much had happened. He finds it calming, centering, to make lists like this in his head. He would lose track of it all if he didn't often recollect his thoughts. Too many times before it had happened that Nathaniel had become single-minded and lost focus of what really mattered; not because he ignored what really mattered, but because he had become blinded and didn't realize what was, in fact, important. His head tangled within itself. He's got the head for cunning, but this should not be mistaken for orderly thoughts.

He's making this list in his head while avoiding accounting. It's not hard math to do, simply an annoyance. It comes easily to him and he often gets bored with it. He had stopped a moment to busy his head with something more challenging. But now that he's done with it, he has no excuse to keep him from accounting. With a deep exhale, he returns to filling out the forms via his online class.

There's no specific tutor for him per se, but someone who checks in on his academics periodically - a personal guidance counselor of sorts. If it were his choice he'd speed through all of this and be on the court for morning practice, but Jasimine, his guide, won't allow him the court time unless he spends a certain number of hours on his course work per day. It's a built in assurance that getting into Edgar Allen won't be a problem for Nathaniel. Unfortunately for him, accounting is not a class he needs to spend an hour and a half on three times a week. Precisely the reason he often lets his mind wander while his computer counts his logged on minutes.

He makes quick work of finishing the work he needs to, but stays logged on because he still needs more time to be counted. He wastes this time by doing a little of his Art History course. Might as well get ahead while he has the time anyways, with nothing else left to occupy his mind. Art History is relatively interesting. There are, of course, times when Nathaniel wants to sleep rather than read about the Renaissance stylistic choices in regard to God, but it beats accounting any time.

He watches the clock the entire time, waiting for the time that marks him completing his study hours for the day. It's roughly when the others break for lunch. When it finally comes, he doesn't wait another second to make his way from Jean and his room down to the kitchen.

Everyone is already lazing about, getting what little rest they can before afternoon practice begins. They have a whole hour for lunch, but Nathaniel itches to reach the court earlier. He knows, though, that if he tries to go earlier that Riko will push him later. It wouldn't turn out to be a pleasant experience. So his eyes find Jean at a table and he joins him. Rather than getting something of his own to eat and contesting the growing glob of Ravens for counter space, he steals bits of the salad from jean's plate. A tomato here and a piece of lettuce there. He'd regret not eating much if he didn't know he would heave it up anyway. They worked too hard on the court to worry about lunch coming up later.

"I would watch yourself today, Nathaniel," Jean says after a few minutes of companionable silence. It means something, but Nathaniel doesn't know what. Jean only ever warns Nathaniel when it's too late. Besides, Riko had been - moderately - better tempered lately due to Court acceptance.

He manages a simple, "I miss all the fun at morning practices," to convey his lost state without truly showing his confusion.

"There are--," Jean hesitates a moment and then switches to a hushed French, "The others are talking." The fact that Jean is speaking French in the open tells Nathaniel that he might heed Jean's warning. Riko doesn't allow them to speak French because he doesn't understand it. Nathaniel had only been allowed to learn it in high school because it was required that he take a foreign language.

"Talk is all there is here," Nathaniel replies in French, goading Jean to continue. He shouldn't, but he'd like to know what has Jean so scared for him, because he is scared for Nathaniel. It's always been abundantly clear that Nathaniel values little and often puts himself in Riko's path simply because he can. It's never been a good idea to do so, but for it not to be now, so much that Nathaniel get express warning...

"They think that the King holds him back." It's not necessary that Jean use names because Nathaniel knows clearly whom he speaks of: Riko and Kevin. Who the 'they' is in this matter though, is debatable. True enough, 'others' could mean the rest of the Ravens. It could also mean the other board members. He's unsure which is worse.

"He is whining, then?" He smiles slyly. His actions and words so often battled his internal thoughts. It was a hard thing to shut off in public, even if in a private conversation with Jean.

"Do not provoke him, Nathaniel. He broke Gabe's nose after less than ten minutes on the court. Gabe is not number three, as you like to talk about numbers so much." He's throwing his earlier, and often repeated, words back at Nathaniel. His smile turns wry both because of the light blow and that Jean is not wrong. Gabe is not number three, and Riko will come after Nathaniel and Jean. Whether he goes after Kevin is questionable. They have one more game, the final, so it's possible.

He considers it a moment longer and decides on a carefully spoken, "The King is fighting off a revolt. I am the least of his worries." It's a way of saying that he will tread carefully, but not throw all of his normal habits away. He should, it would be smarter to, but he never can. Jean accepts this with a sigh and returns to their earlier silence to finish their now shared salad. It's not the first time Riko's lost his temper over something, but this one might matter. Mostly because it's true.

The slam reverberates through his body, jarring his head more than he'd like to say. There's a foot kicked hard into his gut and he cripples into it with a choking sound aching in his throat. Another, to his thighs so that Nathaniel can't curl in on himself. The next foot rolls Nathaniel onto his back and presses down on his chest. Riko's form looms over him with a sneer painted across his face. Maybe sneer isn't strong enough a word for the fury that contorts his features. Nathaniel decides whether he should. Does Riko want him to fight back, or to submit? Well, the end result is always submission, but which does he want now? Nathaniel had decided after the third blow that he would follow what Riko wanted for now, and he's still trying to figure out what that is.

He tests his shoulder by pushing up and against Riko's foot. Riko only pushes harder, his heel digging terribly into Nathaniel's collar bone. He lets the fight fall from his body easily, Riko keeps his foot there to ensure that Nathaniel is steady in his decision. He counts the seconds. _One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seve--_ His foot raises with surety and falls the the ground beside Nathaniel's head. It's so close that if he were to turn his gaze to follow it, he thinks his nose might brush it.

Another few moments before Riko completely steps away. Nathaniel rises slowly to his feet. If it had been worse Jean might be at his side helping him up, but it hadn't been. Surely, every breath feels like a fight, but he manages. The armor feels like it's choking him, trapping him in his bruises. Nathaniel breathes in deeply just to feel that, that helplessness as his breath hitches and stops. It centers him, oddly enough. It's what he needs to continue on the court without being too much of a nuisance to Riko - though sometimes Riko doesn't require provocation.

He makes it to the end of afternoon practice relatively okay. He only attracts Riko's attention twice after he had kicked him to the ground. Once, Riko had simply hit Nathaniel's thighs with his racquet in reprimand. The second, Riko had checked him into the court walls in brutal fashion. All in all, not the worst of his practices. Riko had spent his time rather divided among the Ravens, equally mad at any and all who might be invested in the rumors.

He would feel bad if they weren't Ravens. They had signed on for this. Granted, no one deserves Riko and the Moriyamas' punishment, but he doesn't have sympathy that they take some of the brunt from him today.

There's another hour break for meal before night practice begins. During the school year there usually isn't time for three practices, but the final game of the season is in less than a week, so they aren't letting up. Even Nathaniel is pushing back some of his schooling for it. He'll be taking his ACT later than most are this year because he doesn't want to miss the end of the season, doesn't want to be distracted.

Jean grumbles at Nathaniel to let him check his ribs before night practice, so they return to their room. Walking isn't his favorite thing at the moment. The court is easier because eventually his body goes numb. Walking is too slow and taxing to have the same affect. So he walks to their room with one hand gliding the wall for balance and another holding onto his sides, as if he can hold it all together with the span of his fingers. Jean clicks his tongue in annoyance, an "I told you so."

"Oh shut up," he says through clenched teeth.

Riko continues for days like this, unwavering in his fury for those that might contest him; but there's an announcement that dulls Neil to it. Exy media is thriving with the news of the three family members joining the Palmetto State Foxes in the same year. Nicholas Hemmick, Aaron Minyard, and Andrew Minyard. All three of them cousins and joining the Foxes. Nathaniel catches the segment on ESPN2 in the lounge after practice. He hadn't been hurt so badly that he needed Jean's aid, so he had went for the stash of pain meds in the lounge cabinet. He had just opened the cabinet when he heard the definitive, "Minyard," come from the television. 

He turned his body to face the television fully, leaning his body weight against the cabinet behind him. There's two anchors and from what Nathaniel can tell, they're going back and forth about the newest addition to the Foxes' line up. 

"It just makes you feel bad," one of them said, "Anyone that gets signed to the Foxes are known to be--less fortunate, but three from the same family? People are speculating horrible things in the media, and I can't say they seem far-fetched." _Three?_ Nathaniel wonders. 

"Nicholas Hemmick is signed to be a backliner, as well as his cousin Aaron Minyard. Andrew Minyard, Aaron's twin brother, however, is signed to a goalie." The other anchor is at least concerned with the facts. The first one is not, and continues anyways.

"You've got to wonder if Andrew's capable of playing. I'm told his stats are dismal, even for someone on the Foxes' line up. It seems as though his medication, a result of a past infraction, may be hindering his playing. I'd love to get into Coach Wymack's head, to know just what he was thinking when he signed these kids." 

_So,_ Nathaniel thinks again, _Andrew has a twin brother. He also has a cousin._ He thinks back to see if he recalls Aaron Minyard from his visit to Columbia. He can't recall one. It's not to say, though, that he wasn't on the team. Nathaniel often doesn't pay attention beyond what he needs to, and Andrew's non-performance had him captivated. He hadn't seen Nicholas, but from what the anchors continued to say he gathered that Nicholas was a few years older. He wouldn't have been on a high school exy team because he had already graduated. 

He swallows the pills dry while he leaves the room. He's gotten the information that had caught his attention, and now it's all second-rate speculation from bored reporters. It's true, the Palmetto State Foxes are a poor excuse of an exy team, but still they hold a Class I rank. It's no small thing to achieve, even if they are dead last in their district. 

Jean is waiting for Nathaniel in their room. He's perched on the edge of Nathaniel's bed, a towel and what looks to be antiseptic cream on the bed next to him. 

"I'm checking it. You may be dumb enough not to, but I won't pay for your ignorance." It's not clipped, but maybe--tired, is that the right word? It's hard to tell. But Nathaniel doesn't argue with Jean because, though all of Nathaniel's actions have a direct affect on Jean, some do more than others - such as Nathaniel's ability to play. 

He closes the distance between himself and the bed. He doesn't sit on the edge like Jean does, but makes himself comfortable in with his legs crossed and back hovering against the wall. Jean has to sit properly on the bed just to reach him. Nathaniel doesn't shake away Jean's hands at the edge of his shirt because he's not stupid enough to think he could get it off without him. Jean had helped him with his court armor day after day lately. His muscles ache and his ribs scream in protest as Jean lifts the shirt over his head. He manages little more than an fast inhalation of breath eyes screwed tight. 

Nathaniel doesn't look down to watch Jean's tenuous work because he knows what he'll see there. He'll see his father, he'll see Riko, he'll see Tetsuji, he'll see his mistakes. There all the same thing though, long ago taking the form of scars across his body. He knows he can find an iron's face burned into his shoulder. He knows he can find a hooked and puckering wound on his lower stomach. He knows he can find light criss-crossing marks that act as the background to a fuzzy picture, everywhere across his body. He knows he could look any one place on his body and see a life of pain. Even without looking at them, having them exposed makes Nathaniel feel a little harder. He feels like his is jagged and it is a very good feeling. He should hate it, but he doesn't, not right now. 

Jean is quick and he doesn't talk to Nathaniel while he cleans Nathaniel's wounds and wraps them again. It's an easy and practiced thing between them. Nathaniel is, in the back of his mind, grateful that he bears the brunt of this week, and not Jean. He's sure, now that he's thought it, Riko will hound on Jean tomorrow - but even if he is, it will have been days of relief for Jean. 

"Done," Jean announces as he gets up. He throws the towel to a pile in the corner of their room obligated for dirty laundry and the antiseptic is returned to a shelf on the wall between their beds. Nathaniel doesn't move or reply, the former because he doesn't want the blankets to get stuck to any ointment that had gotten on the skin not beneath bandages, the latter because it's not necessary. They are partners and they take care of each other. 

Jean shuts off the lights on his way from putting the supplies away to his bed and mumbles, "Go to sleep, Nathaniel," before unceremoniously collapsing into a heap. There's a sound as Jean shuffles beneath the covers, and then nothing when he settles. Nathaniel waits a little longer before grabbing for his phone, deciding that it's a night to be particularly dumb, all things put together. 

_Nathaniel; 5:24pm  
The Foxes?_

He shocked that there's an immediate reply, mostly because he hadn't gotten one originally. 

_+18647439567; 5:25pm  
You yourself said to get as far as I can. Are you telling me Riko is interested in the Foxes?_

_Nathaniel; 5:26pm  
True Enough. A brother? Was he on your team?_

_+18647439567; 5:26pm  
Don't ask me about him._

Nathaniel is feeling dangerous.

_Nathaniel; 5:27pm  
What should I ask you about?_

_+18647439567; 5:27pm  
Nothing._

_Nathaniel; 5:28pm  
I'll find something. Goodnight, Andrew._

And he wants to find something, he wants to ask Andrew anything because it feels thrilling to talk to him. Nathaniel is unsure if it's talking to Andrew, or talking to someone like Andrew. He's also not sure it matters. He falls asleep and he doesn't particularly feel the hurts that fill his body because his head is static and his eyes dance left and right behind closed eyelids. Riko will hurt him for this, he knows, and he finds himself thinking of what to ask anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading again! Tell me how you think it was! I'm so excited to be writing this. I've been planning this fic for a long time. And FYI if you were wondering, I've planned it out to try and have at least a little contact between Andrew and Nathaniel every chapter. And yes, that means ending most every chapter with their texts. A happy ending for every chapter???
> 
> Did you see the time stamps on the texts? That's me including that Raven nights don't always match up with regular nights! I'll talk about it in real life later, but for now it's just a little mention:)
> 
> If y'all ever see some major error in grammar/spelling/anything edit-related, feel free to let me know! A lot of my writing is done in the haze of late night/early morning, so my mind isn't always keen on catching mistakes. 
> 
> **Next update will be around the second week of February.**
> 
> As always, come check me out on tumblr: [@quexnk](http://quexnk.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ravens finish out the championships and Nathaniel is presented with a chance he can't turn down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this chapter up earlier, but a bad few weeks made me hesitant to do anything of quality concerning this fic. So it sucks it had to wait, but I'd rather wait than put out something crappy:/
> 
> There's a bit of jumping around time wise towards the end. I had to do this or else there would be a suuuuper boring filler chapter (or two). 
> 
> Anyways, it's out now. Let me know what you guys think/liked!

Leading up to the championships, Nathaniel continues his reckless behavior with new vigor - if only to spare Jean. He doesn't believe in luck - good or bad - but he believes that the universe has a way of being cruel and unusual. The mere thought that Jean had been spared Riko's rage the prior week had caused him to continue his careless comments and actions to ensure the place of things. The safety of Jean, for just a week.

An unfortunate side-affect of this is that Jean refuses to speak to Nathaniel, though he doesn't completely ignore him because he still checks his new wounds. Nathaniel can bear this.

On the day of the championships, a face-off between the Ravens and the Falcons (the bird jokes are not lost to him), Nathaniel's words to Jean do not welcome any in return. He is, at least, acknowledged with a heavy sigh before Jean turns and leaves their suite, off to the locker room. Jean doesn't even slam the door behind him, but rather shuts it with a soft click. Jean is frustrated with Nathaniel. Again, he can bear this. After tonight there will be a relief on both of their parts.

Even as a freshman, Jean's shoulders bear heavy expectations for tonight's game. of course, the Raven's could win the game with or without Jean's presence on the court, but a statement would be made tonight - both about Riko, and about Tetsuji. People would speculate further about Riko's perfect court choices, the missing number three's place in all this, and they would speculate about Tetsuji's allowance and possible position in the scheme of all these plans.

So, Nathaniel can bear this. Nathaniel must bear this. Whenever Riko's knuckles marred his body this past week, his thoughts echoed this. When Tetsuji's own hands were wrought on Nathaniel, his thoughts echoed this. When Jean left their suite with nothing more than a sigh mixed of tiredness and frustration, his thoughts echoed this. Because the game tonight would be a testament to them all.

He allows Jean to have his space in light of this, and lingers in their room for longer than he might normally. He does menial things; cleaning and gathering things for laundry, plugging in his laptop, making up his bed.

He wastes an hour or more like this. A glance at the clock says that it's three in the afternoon. He's already growing tired, and can't imagine wanting to play a game later. On game days that don't fall in line directly with the Raven schedule, they are left reeling for sleep - though they all had played under more harsh conditions, it is not pleasant.

Nathaniel goes to the bathroom to swat cold water at his drooping eyes before venturing out. He ends up placating himself in the lounge not occupied by jeering team members. They all tease him for still not playing on the court officially, despite his status at number three. Had Riko been present, he might have told Nathaniel that it was his own job to end taunts like this. Nathaniel chooses to save his energy and leaves for the abandoned lounge.

He sits on one of the couches and finds a way to rest his body that doesn't tug at half-healed wounds. If he moved to much the scabs would tear and bleed. He had already felt the effects of this every time he practiced. He has a reprieve right now, and his body both thanks him and spites him. While the court had caused these injuries, it provided a distraction from the pain.

There is a patch on the wall in front of him that seems a darker red than the rest, and he doesn't mean to, but he finds his gaze locked to this patch. Much like staring too long at netting, his vision felt blurring and his head hurt with the effort. Still, he finds it centering. His thoughts are relatively absent and lack of movement meant no pain other than the breaths that tugged at his aching ribs.

"Nathaniel."

The voice breaks him from his revere. He recognizes the voice as well as what the tone meant his name as; a greeting and a curse.

Riko is taller than Nathaniel when sitting, a fact attributed to Nathaniel having more leg than torso and Riko being the opposite. He sits next to Nathaniel, an uncomfortable degree of close that Nathaniel manages to only shift slightly away from.

Nathaniel acknowledges Riko with a turn of his head from the wall and to face him fully. He feels a tug at the corner of his lips, a natural response that he fights away.

"Tonight," Riko says without prompting, "you will be in the crowd. Cover your four and you will get the chance to watch us."

Nathaniel ignores the pompous tone because of the chance he's being offered. He no longer has to fight the smile from appearing on his face because the tick disappears.

It's always been too dangerous to go into the crowd. Nathaniel usually watches from the lounge on the television. Despite this excitement, his voice comes out numb, seemingly unable to break completely from the abyss his mind had offered earlier, "Thank you." Nothing else because he doesn't want Riko to take it back. He doesn't have to say he's shocked by this display of kindness after his performance this week because Riko's eyes narrow a little and the lines of his face draw in.

"You have Kevin to thank for this. Do not mistake his kindness for mine. I have not forgotten your tongue, Nathaniel, nor that you have paid for it." By the end his display, Riko is sneering in Nathaniel's face, and back again comes the familiar tug of his lips upwards. And again he fights it.

Riko doesn't let Nathaniel reply, perhaps due to his own anger and not wanting to hear if Nathaniel has something smart to say. Nathaniel thinks it's likely he doesn't trust himself not to go back on whatever Kevin had done to bring this about from Riko.

With Riko gone, the lounge returns to it's quiet and absent demeanor. Despite this, Nathaniel finds it hard to focus back at the wall. His thoughts are a wild thing that trample any process. Half gratitude for whatever Kevin had done to get this for Nathaniel, half excitement for the chance to partake in the full stadium that Edgar Allan offers.

After a few unsuccessful attempts at refocusing, he brings himself off the couch. It's not without sore complaints in aches that settle in his joints and at the dark shadows of bruises.

It's not hard to find make-up in his room; Jean's had to cover bruises on more than one occasion. They aren't an exact match for skin tone, but no one will be looking too closely at him.

Another Raven, Clark, gives him the ticket for his spot. Nathaniel takes it and enters the stadium with the rest of the fans. There are people on either side of him, antsy and and ready for the game. On his left is a couple that are decked in Raven red and black, and on his right is a group of dudebros - they are not limited to football, apparently. But the people around him don't matter much at all when Nathaniel hears the pounding of drums thrum over the speakers. 

The Ravens thrive under the crowds attention. Kevin has never looked to personable as he does beneath a camera and crowd's eye. There's Kevin smiling, which is a rare occurrence, and there's Kevin's public smiling. The natural one looks fierce and has too much teeth, it shapes his face into something ugly. His public one is pleasant, well balanced, and especially warm. This is the one he wears now, even beneath his helmet. 

The Falcons, despite being at the Raven's home, are building the crowd. Nathaniel gives them credit, because it's hard to coax cheers from the Raven's loyal fans. Some still boo, but it's a rather small section. The people on either side of him are the former, the ones who cheer. And, of course, the Falcons have a section of their own fans that cheer for them. 

The Ravens are winning, only a few minutes to the half and the Falcons are trailing by three. And now Nathaniel knows why he shouldn't watch them play, in the championships no less. He can't help the biting jealousy and anger that boils in him. He should be on the court. He earned his spot on the court years ago, and he should be there. And yet, after tonight there would still be another season before he could be on the court. Another season were he sits on the sidelines. Another season where he skips half the practices. Another season that he is left behind. 

The game continues on, the Ravens steadily working towards another win and Nathaniel becoming more and more miserable. When the final buzzer rings out and the crowd erupts for the Raven's win, Nathaniel stands. He stands slowly because all his aches feel more pronounced. He stands and he filters with the crowd that are already starting down the stairs and towards the nearest exit. He stands and he leaves, only to walk to a personnel entrance. 

He finds his and Jean's suite through empty halls. The team is still on the court, or maybe just retreating to the locker room. He doesn't turn on the light when he enters. He navigates himself through the room and to the bathroom, stopping to unplug his laptop on the way. 

Nathaniel hasn't seen himself without the number three on his cheek in over a year. Despite that he had seen it earlier, it's different now. Before, its absence was an opportunity. Now, it's a painful reminder. He does not belong here. The tattoo, it's been an attempt at fitting in somewhere that is a last ditch effort at surviving. 

He had come to the bathroom to wipe the makeup off, but instead he turns and goes back to the bedroom. He tucks himself into the covers carefully, pulls them close to cover most of his face, the already covered tattoo. He feels numb to his very bones, everything beyond it feels worse. He can't sleep, but he faces the wall so that when Jean comes in he won't talk to him - if there were any chance he might. 

He doesn't.

Nathaniel doesn't sleep for a long time.

Jean takes a few more weeks to cool down, a gradual process where he opens back up to Nathaniel. He sits next to Nathaniel at lunch, even allows for him to steal parts of his meal. Still though, he doesn't talk to Nathaniel. 

Nathaniel takes the ACT within those few weeks. He hasn't the slightest idea how he did, only that it has to be good enough. It's a test that takes most of the day, a day without breaks really. It's tiring because he's never been particularly fascinated by school or tests. Equations interest him, language, art, but nothing enough to make him enjoy taking an all-day test. 

When the test is over Jean is there to drive him back from the testing center. Ravens don't go anywhere alone, so Jean had waited in the parking lot, reading. Nathaniel gets into the car and his whole body sags. Despite everything that's been between them for the past few weeks, Jean is safe for him. 

"Congratulations." Nathaniel thinks he imagines it, but a look at Jean, who stares back at him, tells him he didn't. 

"On what?" he tests, his eyebrows scrunching together.

"Now you're on your way to being a Raven." Jean can't hide the aggression in his voice, it's thick and heavy on his tongue. 

Nathaniel has nothing for a response, so he makes an about face and fastens his seat belt. 

The ice breaks fairly easy after that, Jean returning to Nathaniel's partner more than just on the court. They return to eating together and talking before falling asleep. So, despite everything else that plagues him, this is a breath of relief. Of course, it had been worth it, but he hadn't realized the extent to which Jean would take it. He's beyond relieved to have this, at least, be okay. 

He gets a 24 on the ACT. Edgar Allen doesn't formally accept him because he's yet to finish his junior year, but it's well known that it's enough to get in without trouble. Ravens slap him on the back whenever they see him, Greg even offers a beer. Nathaniel doesn't like to drink in the Nest - which is to say that he doesn't drink at all - so he turns it down. 

All in all, the time after championships flies past Nathaniel too fast for him to count. The end of junior creeps up on him before he gets the chance to realize it. He finishes his classes with ease now, and he scolds himself as he does. He isn't supposed to let things like this happen. He needs to focus more. 

There are a two weeks where the Ravens are allowed to go wherever home is for them. Nathaniel's home is effectively here. Two weeks that are given, but really not encouraged. Most are back after a week. It's the official start of the season for them, the start of summer practices, the start of another win. Nathaniel take sit upon himself to focus here, on the court. 

After the first week of it, Nathaniel hurts. It would be nice if, after a life subjected to pain, he were used to it - but it's not. He's sprawled on his bed, shirt abandoned because there's ten different kinds of muscle and joint relief cream on his abdomen. Jean is glaring hard enough for him to feel it despite not looking at him but at the ceiling. 

"Stare any harder and you'll start a fire," Nathaniel drawls, "And I'm not so inclined to that."

"You're being dumb."

"I'm focusing," Nathaniel corrects. He can't let himself lose track like he did for so many weeks. 

"You're making a spectacle. You know what they're saying about Kevin. Don't do this, Nathaniel." Jean refers to the rumors about Riko holding Kevin back, the start of the tension between them. The rumors have gotten louder again, with no new games to busy them. 

Nathaniel sighs, mostly tiredness, "I lost track, Jean. I can't do it again. If I don't focus on the court, what am I supposed to focus on?" It's a question, but he doesn't expect Jean to answer. 

"Focus on getting out." It hangs heavy in the air between them. He feels his chest constrict.

He lets out a shaky, "You know it doesn't work like that."

"Maybe not, but you could still focus on it." Jean's voice is much calmer than his own, and than he imagines Jean feels. 

"I won't focus on leaving you," he says instead of going down a painful path. 

"You could, leave me, if given the chance. My family belongs to the Moriyamas. No matter how long I wait, I will always be theirs. If there were a chance--" Nathaniel interrupts him. 

"Forget it," and then, "I'm going to sleep, Jean. Maybe when I wake up you'll have less ridiculous notions to discuss."

The first game of the season is won easily. And the second. Nathaniel watches from his hiding hole in the den, watches the Ravens win. He also watches the Foxes. He watches them lose. And lose. 

They have three goalies, and they haven't played Andrew. They have lost two games, badly, and they haven't played Andrew. Nathaniel has seen Andrew play, knows they're being stupid not to. It's not a matter of risking Andrew's indifference on the court, because at this point there's nothing to lose. They’re only two games deep, but their performance is abominable. 

It seems, that Nathaniel is not the only one to notice. 

Kevin is sitting with Jean and Nathaniel, watching replays of footage for their next opponents. They're studying game footage because it's Kevin's thing. The three of them exchange comments and ideas to break the teams defensive line. They're in the middle of the third game when Riko drops in. He sidles up neatly between Kevin and the arm of the couch. 

"A little bird told me," Riko grins, "That the Palmetto State Foxes are at risk of losing their Class I status. Minyard turned us down for a losing team, and he can't even help them." He's gloating. Kevin doesn't buy into it, just makes a "tch" sound.

"The board says that unless Coach Wymack produces a miracle in the next game, their title is as good as gone." Theirs a lilt to his shoulders despite laying back against the couch. He's not only gloating, but proud of it. 

He's tired. Tired of not being good enough for the court. Tired of wasting time. Tired of Riko's jabs. Tired of Jean's reluctance. Tired of Jean's hope as well. Tired of Kevin's interaction from the sidelines. But most of all, he's tired of the Ravens. 

_Nathaniel; 1:27am  
They’re asking you for a miracle. Do me a favor and make one - to piss off a king._

He texts it at night, when Jean is likely asleep in the bed across from him, but not necessarily. It doesn’t matter, his phone is on mute, and the fact that he’s on it shouldn’t alert Jean because Nathaniel often wasted time playing Tetris. It's all the phone was good for, considering the only thing he used it for were times he left the nest. 

_+18647439567; 1:42am  
Interesting. But not enough._

Nathaniel is familiar with this kind of thing, so he doesn’t spend long considering. He doesn’t know Andrew well enough to offer anything that might sway him, so instead he asks.

_Nathaniel; 1:43am  
What would it take?_

_+18647439567; 1:50am  
Find your way out of the cave. Come to the game and I’ll play._

Nathaniel thinks about asking why, but he thinks he understands a little behind Andrew's motivations. Something that was clear from their first meeting was - whether it not it was because Nathaniel was younger and has less time for Raven habits to take form or because he was truly different - Nathaniel was not the same as the others. Of course, Andrew is inclined to believe the latter. Of course, Andrew is right.

Nathaniel is made from different things. 

Andrew’s motivation behind this stipulation is simple: do something dangerous. And Nathaniel could say no, but he’s inclined to the dangerous. He’s not sure how he’ll do it, because Ravens don’t go anywhere alone. It’s possible that Riko allows Jean to come. 

 

_Nathaniel; 1:53am  
I'll make it happen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys thought, what you liked about this chapter! I love all of your comments, even if I don't respond to every one. They make writing this fic even more fun! 
> 
> **Next chapter will be sometime next week to make up for the month long wait**
> 
> As always, come find me on tumblr: [@quexnk](http://quexnk.tumblr.com/)


	5. AUTHORS NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just have a quick question for y'all; I'll delete this little author's note once I get your feedback.

Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I updated, and I apologize! Life has been incredibly busy (what's new) and I haven't found a lot of time to write. On top of it all, I'm leaving the country for two weeks and will be unable to update for that additional time. Being this as it may, would you rather wait for me to post chapter four, or would you rather have a short portion (1k) of the chapter that is (heavily) unedited? Here's the run-down of each option:

 **I would rather wait for the full chapter.** Due to my two week absence, I will be unable to post then, and likely will spend a while being satisfied with what I write - in sum, it will likely be another 3-4 weeks from today before I update if you would like this. 

**I would rather see a short portion of the chapter that is severely rough.** I currently have about 1k of chapter four written in my drafts. It's heavily unedited and subject to lots of change, as I often change beginning portions to better suit the endings of chapters. If you'd rather this option, just know that what you're reading is likely nowhere near the end result. When I get back from Europe, if this is the path you guys choose, I would continue writing as I normally would until the chapter is finished. When it is done, I would delete the posted draft and repost the final edition of the chapter (so that all of you still get the update notification). The timeline would still be the same as above, 3-4 weeks for a complete chapter, but you would have this rough draft in the mean time.

If you could just comment what you'd like, I'd really appreciate it (or comment with any questions about this). I just want to keep you guys reading!


	6. Info

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some notes from the author about actually updating soon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops i accidentally haven't updated since like February or something

Hi guys, lmao I'm alive! 

So the reason I was constantly put off in updating this can be surmised simply in a few words: shit got fucked, and also a big bang.

On top of other life events, I popped out a big bang. It's an Artist!Neil / Model!Andrew, so [go check it out](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11650128)! I worked really hard on it (hence the prolonged absence) and the artist I work with is AMAZING.

Anyway, what this means is I'm actually going to fucking update in the near future. I won't promise any dates because I always lie to myself when I do, but let's just say soon, yeah?

Thanks for sticking around guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao it's okay to shame me I'm awful.


End file.
